Not Enough Middle FingersEverything I Need to Know About Sexting I Learned in AP EnglishThrowing it back to this time last year in celebration of forced celibacy. Names have been changed, because it’s not Brett’s fault that I…Apr 2, 2021Apr 2, 2021
Not Enough Middle FingersMy quarantine boyfriend is six foot, dreamy, and probably has a wife and kidsWritten at the beginning of lockdown, publishing in grim celebration of a year of distance. Names have been changed to protect the…Mar 26, 2021Mar 26, 2021
Not Enough Middle FingersThe Dumpling PartyAs the common denominator I felt like it had to mean something, but I wasn’t sure what. I tallied up the similarities:Mar 16, 2021Mar 16, 2021
Not Enough Middle FingersEverything my neighbors know about me as gleaned in the last 275 hours, A Sound DiaryLeaves bathroom fan on unnecessarilyFeb 24, 2021Feb 24, 2021
Not Enough Middle FingersRight place. Or how Carol from CVS is basically my fairy godmotherWhenever I hear someone say that wherever we are is exactly where we’re meant to be, and that there’s some reason we’re here right now…Feb 16, 2021Feb 16, 2021
Not Enough Middle FingersCan I get that sex back? And other first datesThis is a piece from a couple years back that’s been living in a cardboard box next to a book about the elusive orgasm. The names have…Jan 9, 2021Jan 9, 2021
Not Enough Middle FingersOn why you should probably wear your underwear out of the store“It’s the sticker thing!” Was my exhausted, one eye open breakthrough five hours deep into a heart to heart with myself during the drive…Jan 2, 2021Jan 2, 2021
Not Enough Middle FingersYou are the average of the five people you spend the most time with: Quarantine version*Trigger warning, this post includes potentially disturbing material regarding Harm OCD*Dec 19, 2020Dec 19, 2020
Not Enough Middle FingersFeeling human. Or that time I got fingered by my Uber driverIt’s pretty rare that I actually like a guy. Like like like him. And it’s been a minute since I’ve had butterflies. But as I text my…Dec 12, 2020Dec 12, 2020
Not Enough Middle FingersOn perfectionism. Or that time I thought I was gonna get laid over ThanksgivingMy biggest regret about spending Thanksgiving in quarantine is that I didn’t find out I’d been exposed until after I spent three and a…Dec 5, 2020Dec 5, 2020
